


Space Oddities

by acedott



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grayromantic Character, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-15 20:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11238918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acedott/pseuds/acedott
Summary: Keeley, a grieving and guilt-ridden teenager, meets up with the Doctor, who helps her as much as she helps him. Set between the Waters of Mars and the Day of the Doctor. Rated M for language and intense depictions of grief/guilt.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hi Dad,” Keeley said, leaning against the smooth marble headstone. “I know that I say this every time I come, but life sucks. I can’t be around Mom because I feel so guilty about letting you die. And I know that she doesn’t blame me, and that she’s hurting too and me avoiding her is probably making her feel worse, but her not blaming me is just making me feel worse because I don’t deserve her not blaming me.” She closed her eyes to keep herself from crying. “If I had just been faster, you’d still be…you wouldn’t have…I’m so sorry, Dad,” she whispered, unable to stop a few tears from falling. 

After a few minutes, she wiped away the tears and opened her eyes. Then she squinted at the far side of the cemetery. 

“I could’ve sworn that angel was at the gate of the other cemetery,” she muttered to herself. She rubbed at her eyes, figuring the tears had messed up her vision. But when she looked again, it had crossed half the cemetery and was close enough that she could see its face. It looked like it was screaming in rage. She thought it looked like an angel of death. 

“It’s finally happened,” she said ruefully. “I’ve lost any and all sanity I had left. There’s no way that stone angel can move. I’m just being stupid.” She stood up anyway and decided to leave by the back gate to avoid the creepy statue. 

She hadn’t taken two steps before she felt a slight pressure on her back, like a hand, then a spinning sensation that made her feel like she was about to vomit.

Next thing she knew, she was facedown in grass. She decided to lie still until her stomach decided to stop doing somersaults. 

“What?” she heard a British voice ask incredulously, which only added to her own confusion. She rolled onto her elbows to get a better look at her surroundings. 

The first thing she noticed was that she was in a forest she had never seen before. 

The second thing she noticed was a man in a brown pinstriped suit and a tan trench coat staring at her, looking just as confused as she felt. 

The third thing she noticed was the big blue box he was sitting against. It looked like a fancy phone booth except for the words “Police Box” written at the top. Whatever it was, it didn’t look like there was any reason it would be in a forest. 

“What?” he repeated. 

“Where am I?” she asked, as much to him as to herself. 

“Appalachian Mountains, 1200 AD,” he said distractedly. “But-how-” 

“1200 AD?” she interrupted. “But it’s 2017. And I live in the Bronx.” 

“How did you get here?” he asked curiously. “You seemed surprised to find yourself in the past, so you’re probably not a part of U.N.I.T. or the Time Agency, but humans still haven’t figured out time travel by 2017, you’ve barely scratched the surface of space travel.”   
What the hell is he talking about? Despite her utter confusion as to what was going on, Keeley felt she should say something in defense of her species. “We figured out space travel like 50 years ago, in the 60’s. We sent a man to the moon and all that.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Well, baby steps, I suppose. Crawl before you walk.” 

She felt kind of offended.

“So how did you get here then?” he asked. 

“I don’t know! One second I was at the cemetery, visiting my dad and hallucinating or something, and then there was this weird spinning, and then I was here. Like the Magic Tree house or some shit, but way less fun.” She paused. “Am I hallucinating this? Do I have a concussion? Ohhh, fuck, am I in a coma?”

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down!” he interrupted. “Let’s start at the beginning. Did your dad see this ‘spinning’?”

She looked at him for a second, then realized. “Oh, you thought…Yeah, when I said visiting, I meant I was…He’s dead.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I am so so sorry.”

“Yeah,” she responded quietly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Anyway, it felt more like I was spinning than that the world was spinning.”

“You said you were hallucinating. What did you see?”

“Oh, it was weird. There was this statue of an angel all the way across the cemetery, and I kept thinking it was getting closer. It had this face…It looked so angry.”

“Ah, you were touched by a Weeping Angel! That explains the spinning and the time and space displacement.”

“No, no, it was angry not sad,” she corrected him.

“What you thought was a statue was actually a creature called a Weeping Angel, or a Lonely Assassin. They’re a kind of quantum-locked humanoid species. No one really knows where or when they came from. They send their victims back in space and time, and feed off of the potential energy of the lives their victims would have had.”

So it takes you away from your family and everything you know, which is a good thing for everyone, she thought.

A thought suddenly occurred to her. “You talk like you…aren’t a human,” she said hesitantly. He nodded and she went on. “So...are you an alien, then?” 

He nodded again. 

“Where are you from? Like, what’s the name of your planet, or your species?”

“I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. The last, actually.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But what are you doing here? I mean, Earth’s probably pretty boring compared to…Gallifrey, right?”

He smiled, a bit sadly it seemed. “Oh, there’s always tons of alien activity on Earth. Never much in America for some reason, which is why I came here. I needed a place to think, and there’s no lives for me to ruin here, no laws of time for me to break,” he finished bitterly. 

She looked at him inquisitively. He sighed and said, “I made a mistake. A big, big mistake. I thought I could control the laws of time and save some people, but...I’m not a god, and I should never have tried to be one.” 

She looked down at the ground thoughtfully, then back up at him. “What’s your name, by the way?” 

“I’m the Doctor. Who are you?”

“Keeley. Keeley Washington.” 

He stretched out his hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Keeley Washington.” She smiled back and shook his hand. 

“Now then,” he said, jumping up. “You’ll be wanting to get back home then?” 

She hesitated before standing up. “Well...not exactly." 

“Running away from home? I’ve done that, and it didn’t work out so well for me. Look at me now.”

“Not running away, exactly, just...I made a mistake too, one that affected me and my mom. She’s better off if I’m not there,” Keeley replied matter-of-factly. “So, yeah, I guess technically that is running away. But for a good reason.”

The Doctor paused. He had been going to tell her to go home, but he saw something of himself in her. Guilt and grief were two things he knew how to spot very well, and he could also see that she was very nearly drowning in it. 

One trip can’t do any harm, can it? he thought to himself. It’s not like I’d take her to Skaro or someplace truly dangerous. 

“Oh, alright,” he conceded. “One trip, then back home. Deal?” 

The Doctor told himself that this trip was to help her, but truthfully he was as lonely as she was. This was just as much for him as for her. 

Mentally resolving to convince him later to let her stay, she said, "Deal." He led her into the TARDIS.

"How is it bigger on the inside?" were the only words she could get out. 

The walls were a golden-copper color with hexagons covering them. Around the edges of the room were huge, dull gold pillars that sort of looked to her like seaweed frozen mid-motion. The console in the exact center of the room was bathed in a pale shamrock green light that glowed from the inside, and had thick black cables running from it and continuing along the top of the pillars. 

"Whoa," she breathed in wonder.

“So, Keeley Washington,” he said, throwing switches and levers on the console, grinning widely at her. "Allons-y!"  


	2. Chapter 2

“Here we are!” he exclaimed, throwing open the doors and stepping out. “The planet of Apschaffor!” 

Overcome with curiosity, she followed him out the doors. “This looks like Earth,” she said skeptically, looking around. Just then, a large green man with a tail walked past them. “Okay, not so much like Earth,” she said in a small voice. 

“Oh, that’s a native Apschafforian!” the Doctor cried delightedly. “Anyway, Apschaffor is in the constellation Cygnus in the Milky Way, so it is a bit like Earth,” he continued rapidly. “You lot called it Kepler-452b. All off-world colonization started in the year 2300, and was headed by Jessica Adelaide Brooke, a direct descendent of Adelaide Brooke. Brilliant woman, Adelaide.” He stopped talking suddenly and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. She guessed that this woman Adelaide was involved in the mistake he had mentioned before, and based on his sudden change in demeanor, that she was probably dead. 

She wasn’t sure whether to comfort him, and she didn’t even know how she would comfort him since she didn’t have any real details about what had happened, just guesses. She decided to ask him questions instead and hoped that would distract him. “Wait, so if that was 2300, what year is it now?”

“Oh, in Earth years, this is the year seven billion.” 

“Seven billion?” she repeated, dazed. “That’s...wow. Are you sure?”

“Yup. Seven billion, or 7.5/apple/26 if you want to be precise. This would be the two billionth anniversary of Earth’s destruction, to the day, actually,” he continued. “I was there with R...my friend.” 

Who was this friend, and why couldn’t- or wouldn’t- he say their name? He’d started to, but stopped himself for some reason. Well, at least I have part of a name. I’ll have to ask him about R; it sounds like an interesting story. 

“Sorry, Earth’s destruction? When did that happen? Well, two billion years ago, I guess, so the year five billion. At least it won’t happen in my lifetime; that’s good. But how was it destroyed?” She tended to ramble when she was nervous or confused, and she was definitely confused right now. 

“Well, basically, the sun expanded and enveloped the Earth. They had been using gravity satellites to keep the sun back, but then they turned them off to provide a sort of show for people with invitations. No one was left on the planet, don’t worry,” he hurried to assure her, seeing how horrified she was. She felt slightly better, but not much. 

“After that, planets that had been colonized by humans have celebrated Earth’s legacy in different ways. Apschaffor has an Earth Remembrance Festival every year on the anniversary of Earth’s destruction, which is where we are now.” 

“What do you think?” he finished, crossing his arms. “Want to check it out?” She nodded mutely and they began walking towards the festival. She could hear music as they got closer. It didn’t sound like any music on Earth, but she liked it. 

The Doctor had started babbling about something, but she’d tuned him out and was now looking at the other festivalgoers. Some looked human, some looked like the Apschafforian they’d seen earlier, but lots of them looked completely different. 

“Doctor?” she asked hesitantly. 

“Hm?” he replied distractedly, shaken out of his babbling. 

“Do all Apschafforians look the same? I mean, all green and with tails?”

“Mm, for the most part, yeah. The climate on Apschaffor is pretty similar across the whole planet, not varied like Earth. There are a few albino Apschafforians, of course, they’re a sort of yellow-green color, but-”

“Then who are the rest of the ones here?” she interrupted. “I mean, some of them are blue, some of them have like antenna things, and there are tons of others.”

“They’re from other planets most likely. They’re here for the festival too, it isn’t limited to people from this planet. People come from every corner of the universe for this, even if their planet wasn’t colonized by Earth.” He was quiet for a second to give her time to take it all in, but then couldn’t contain himself. “Look over there!” he cried, pointing at a human walking with a sort of purple fishlike...humanoid would be the best word, Keeley decided. “A Hath and a human together, brilliant!” 

“What’s a Hath?” 

“I met them ages ago, with some friends. Martha Jones- well, Martha Smith-Jones now, I suppose-and Donna Noble. They’re brilliant, they are.” He seemed nostalgic, but in a good way. Like when you go by your old school or your old house and you remember the good times you had there. She also didn’t miss that he said their names without hesitation, unlike the mysterious R. 

“Don’t we need tickets or something to get into the festival?” she asked, drawing his attention back to the festival. 

“Nah, ‘course not! It’s like a street fair for the whole of Creation. Everyone’s welcome!” 

She smiled. “Cool. Do they have exhibits or something?”

He grinned at her; he’d missed showing people new planets. “There are performances during the whole festival, people singing traditional Earth songs or dancing. There are also vendors selling replicas of things from Earth, like books or technology. If you want to buy anything, just hand them this credit stick,” he explained, handing her a small metal rod. 

“A credit stick?” She was starting to get the feeling that confusion would be a normal part of traveling with the Doctor. 

“Universal money; good on every planet. Except Earth, it’s useless there! You should really adopt this currency system, it’s much easier to use,” he complained. 

“Sorry. I’ll use my influence on Earth to fix that right away,” she retorted sarcastically, then cringed at her awful joke. That was lame, even for you. 

He laughed at that as they walked along, which surprised her. He saw a booth for a fortuneteller and stopped Keeley for a minute. 

“We should probably avoid fortune tellers,” he said, pulling her away. 

“Because it’s a waste of money?” she asked. 

“No. Well, overall they are, although some do have extended exposure to a Rift, which allows them to see glimpses of the past and/or future. But I took Donna, that friend I mentioned earlier, to a market place once and there was a fortune teller who sent her temporarily into a parallel universe.”

“Oh,” she said. “Yeah, let’s not do that.” She didn’t know what else to say to that, so she walked on to the next booth. “Hey, Doctor, c’mere.” He wandered over and looked at what she saw. “‘The Earthlings?’” she read. “What’s that about?”

“Hey there!” a smiling Apschafforian said, jogging over to the booth. “My name’s Irikeer. Are you interested in joining our cause?”

Keeley and the Doctor looked at each other, then back at the girl behind the booth. “What cause is that, exactly?” he asked. 

“To resist the Sammlung’s tyranny,” she replied proudly. Her confident tone made Keeley half want to sign up right there. 

“Who are the Sammlung?” Keeley asked. She regretted it instantly from the look Irikeer gave her. 

“You’re kidding, right? You don’t know who the Sammlung are?”

She shrugged. “I’m not exactly from around here,” she said truthfully. 

Irikeer whistled. “Lucky you. The Sammlung formed an alliance between a few planets in the Milky Way, uniting them under one rule. But now they want to bring every planet in the Milky Way under their rule. That’s why this group was formed. To fight the Sammlung directly by sabotaging their work and disrupting communications and supplies, but also to tell people that they don’t have to be cowed and beaten by the Sammlung.” The conviction in her voice was inspiring, but Keeley really didn’t want to get involved in galactic politics millions of years in her future. 

“Thanks very much, we’ll definitely think about it,” the Doctor said cheerfully before whisking a grateful Keeley away. 

“So what happens with the Sammlung and the Earthlings?” she asked once they were out of earshot. 

“The Earthlings manage to defeat the Sammlung and then a new political era comes up,” he replied. 

“It sounds a lot like Star Wars,” she pointed out.

He laughed. “It does, doesn’t it? Maybe George Lucas was on to something.” 

"Ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon," a pleasant voice said in Keeley's head, "The main festivities are about to begin. Please make your way to the main stage." The directions to get to the main stage were suddenly clear in Keeley's mind. 

"The entire festival grounds are surrounded by a telepathic field," he explained, noticing her starting to freak out. "This way they can make announcements that will be heard over the noise. It also lets them hear if people are thinking about doing something that will cause harm to the festival or the people in it." 

"Oh," she said awkwardly. “Telepathy. Right. Okay. So...should we go to the main stage?"

"Why not? They have Earthologists talking about Old Earth traditions again this year; those are always brilliant. They have no idea what they’re talking about, of course, but they don’t know that. It’s almost embarrassing." He crooked out his arm for her with a mischievous grin. "Shall we?" 

She took his arm and smiled. "We shall." 

•••

The Doctor and Keeley had gotten separated at some point in the large crowd, but she was too busy listening to the panel to notice. 

“What can you tell us about the religions of Earth?” the panel moderator asked the assembled Earthologists. 

“Well, they were clearly a polytheistic people, there’s no doubt about that,” the green Apschafforian on the left replied. “They had many conflicting stories and myths about creation and deities, of course. This caused significant strife between Earth subcultures for years, but this strife didn’t come with them when they began off-world colonization, for reasons we’ve yet to understand, as there are few surviving records from that time. This lack of tension was actually a hugely significant part of why human colonization was as peaceful and nonviolent as it was; they lead their lives alongside the lives of their new colonies rather than conquering and erasing them.”

She gave a small embarrassed laugh. “I’m going to keep rambling about the Peace Off Earth movement, as some historians have called it, if someone else doesn’t pick up this question; it’s my favorite part of history.” 

The audience laughed appreciatively. “I’ll take this question and save you,” the purple woman next to her said, grinning conspiratorially. “One belief I always found fascinating was that some people were given as gifts to humanity from the gods. These people were typically public figures who promoted kindness to all people.” 

“They also seemed to have a large number of queens who were given a heavenly status,” the center panelist added. “Which is inconsistent with our history, due to the non-monarchical status of all countries at this time, and may yet be one of the biggest unsolved mysteries of Earth. These queens were often celebrities who then became goddesses of women. One possible theory is that there was some kind of upwards mobility to their society: celebrity to queen, then queen to goddess.”

Keeley bent over in her chair, holding her sides and desperately trying not to laugh. She took deep breaths in and out to stop her laughter. Literally what the fuck. This is amazing.

“We think that Earthlings chose deities to worship or serve, as there are records of people claiming specific women as their queen or goddess,” they continued. 

Keeley snorted, causing the people sitting next to her to glare. She apologized and left the rows of chairs and started down the aisle between chairs to stand at the back of the panel area, where she could laugh without anyone overhearing. 

“There were plenty of stories about a mythical hero called the Doctor also, who saved humanity from alien invaders,” the blue man on the far right added. 

Keeley froze in her tracks and spun around, scanning the crowd for him, all laughter gone. The Doctor? Like the… No. But he never said… Well, I never asked, I guess. But…

She couldn’t see him and she was starting to get worried. She should be able to find someone that tall, especially with his spiky hair that added a few more inches. Come on, Doctor. Where are you? 

“There are records of him on other planets as well, so it’s probable that he was actually real but also probably highly fictionalized,” the first one commented. Keeley vaguely registered this new piece of information, but was too worried about the Doctor to really process it. 

Where is he? She was beginning to panic. Partly because she was worried about him, but she was also on another planet a couple billion years in her future. If she was stranded here…

She suddenly spotted his hair and let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Thank God. 

But her relief was short-lived. His arms were being held tightly by two large robots or androids, and she thought he was unconscious from the way his head lolled slightly forward. 

Fucking hell, she thought with a mix of frustration and terror. Oh, I am so screwed. I’m screwed beyond my wildest imagination. Fucking fuckitty fuck. 

She took a deep breath and pushed her hair away from her face. Okay, Keeley, focus. Focus, focus, focus. 

The next few moments were all a blur when Keeley later tried to remember what had happened. The lights throughout the entire festival grounds were cut off, covering everyone in a blanket of darkness. There were the sounds of shrieks and running from the petrified festivalgoers. Where exactly they were running to was unclear, since they couldn’t see the exit, but fear makes people (and humanoids and other forms of sentient life) do stupid things. The panel members, who were some of the calmer ones, had been escorted off the stage by festival crew until they could figure out what was going on. Keeley had instinctively ducked into the sound room at the back of the auditorium, which offered the most cover and protection. Cameras and microphones were set up for people in the booth to observe and make announcements; Keeley had to push a few of the microphones aside to see the screens.

When the lights came back on, the size of the audience was much smaller and most of the chairs had been overturned in people’s haste to get out. More interestingly to Keeley, however, was the fact that the Doctor was being forced to kneel on the stage by the droids who were holding him earlier. By this point, he had regained total consciousness, but couldn’t free himself from them. 

“Who are you? What do you want?” he shouted at them fiercely.

Rather than answer him, the droid on his left pressed a button on its wrist and voiced in a monotone, “Access code 915-dash-571. Alert Ostravis: the Doctor has been captured.” Its voice sounded similar to Siri, like its more sinisterly programmed cousin. 

After a few seconds, a hologram appeared. Keeley guessed that this must be Ostravis, although he didn’t look much like a villain. For one thing, his skin was a pleasant shade of amethyst purple and he had arctic blue eyes. He was actually kind of pretty, in an odd alien way. He also looked like a middle-aged dad with his completely bald head and slight wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. 

He also had three, equally purple but less bald, children playing at his feet which added to the father vibe he had going on. 

“Daddy, Zovie broke our tritonic dilithium generator again!” one of the children, a boy who looked about 7, complained. He pointed at the smallest kid, who Keeley assumed was Zovie.

“Not now, Matiole, Daddy has to finish this up. Lev, can you take them into Dr. Thakut’s office please?”

A girl- Lev, Keeley guessed- who looked about 9 years old stamped her foot in frustration. “But Dad!”

“Levire! Take Matol and Uzovissar to Dr. Thakut right now. This is very important, and I need complete focus.”

Lev stomped out in a huff, dragging her brother and sister behind her. 

Ostravis let out a long sigh. “Sorry about that,” he apologized. “Their sitter called in sick; there was nowhere else for them to go.”

“Now, where was I? Oh, yes, you’re the famous Earth hero they call the Doctor,” he continued. “Stories of your exploits have been fueling the rebel group, the Earthlings. Your legacy has been slowly undermining the great work the Alliance is trying to do, so you must be eliminated.”

“And what work is that, exactly? Trying to force everyone under your rule?” the Doctor shot back, surreptitiously trying to get his sonic screwdriver out from his pocket. 

“No! Well, technically yes, but it isn’t power for power’s sake. After uniting the entire Milky Way, we realized everything would be so much safer and simpler for everyone if all planets came under Sammlung rule. I know people are against us, but all we’re trying to do is create a safer world for us and for future generations.” 

“Admirable though that is, is murder truly the best way to do that? Will spilled blood really create peace?” 

When he said eliminate, he meant...they’re gonna kill him? No, they can’t! 

“Regrettably, Doctor, it’s the only way. Thoron auto sequencer activate in-”

“You can’t!” Keeley blurted impulsively into a microphone. It echoed across the massive auditorium and could be clearly heard on the stage. 

Both the Doctor and the holographic Ostravis turned toward the booth. “Who is that?” Ostravis asked incredulously.

“Keeley?” the Doctor asked at the same time. 

She gulped. Fuck. “Uh, hi. Um, my name is Keeley? I’m from Earth.”

“That’s impossible, Earth was destroyed 2 billion years ago. Anyway, there are no full-blooded humans left; they all intermarried long ago,” Ostravis scoffed.

“Right! Right, obviously, I couldn’t be from Earth because that’s impossible.” She saw the Doctor resume his efforts to get his screwdriver out to free himself, so she decided to stall. “I meant that in a more, uh, metaphorical way. Like my ancestry is from Earth, so I have the...human...spirit? And, um, humans wouldn’t support your, y’know, alliance empire thing.”

“If I recall my Earth history correctly, humans were always making, as you said, ‘alliance empire things,’” Ostravis interrupted scathingly.

“Well...well, yeah, that’s true. But um...see, it’s like what that historian said, about the Peace Off Earth movement? It was all peaceful and about coexisting instead of conquering. So, yeah, maybe try that instead?”

He smirked. “A sweet thought, young lady. But no. I think I know more about intergalactic policy than a teenager.”

Her blood boiled. “Maybe, but that doesn’t make you better or smarter. Like, I’m not stupid enough to announce my whole entire plan to my victim, allowing them time to get free.” 

As soon as the words were out, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, eyes wide. “Not that he’s trying to get free, because there’s no way that would work!” She let out a nervous laugh. 

Fortunately, the Doctor had already gotten himself free. He hastily whipped out his screwdriver and pointed it at the hologram, dissolving it immediately. “Thanks for stalling, but maybe don’t tell them I’m trying to get free next time, yeah?”

“Doctor, what about that auto thoron...thing?” she asked into the microphone. 

“Thoron auto sequencer. It can be activated at any time if he puts in the activation code; I’ll have to blow it up. You’d better run, Keeley,” he instructed rapidly.

She noticed some green gas coming from under the stage. “Uh, Doctor? Is that bad?” she queried, pointing at it. 

“That’s the thoron! We have less time than I thought!” He scrambled under the stage looking for the source. 

Keeley approached it more cautiously. She could barely see him through the gas. 

“You know, if we were on earth, this gas would be colorless. But due to the slight difference in atmosphere here on Apschaffor, the gas is colored,” he commented as he tinkered. The clanking and whirring from the source nearly drowned him out.

“Can I be doing anything?” she called in, wringing her hands anxiously. 

“No, it’s highly toxic to humans! Stay back, Keeley!” he shouted insistently. “I can set it off right now, but that would kill anyone in a 10 meter distance.”

“I’ll go make sure there’s nobody else in range. What’s 10 meters in, like, feet though?”

“Get them to the entrance of the festival grounds. That’ll be plenty of distance for them to be safe.”

“I’m on it.” She took off running, casting her eyes from side to side as she ran. Once she got out of the auditorium, she found a huge crowd that included the Earthology panelists.

“It’s gonna blow! Get to the festival entrance!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs. There was confused murmuring, but nobody moved. She huffed in annoyance. 

“Follow me if you don’t want to get blown up! Move your asses, people, we have like zero time for delays!” Keeley ran off towards the entrance, thanking her lucky stars that the map of the festival grounds was still in her head. She looked back after a few seconds and saw that the entire crowd had followed her, to her relief.

They had just gotten outside the entrance when the explosion happened. The waves of energy caused by the blast shook the ground and knocked them all off their feet. 

Keeley stood up slowly and brushed the dust off her clothes. “Is everyone alright?” she asked urgently. 

One small child started crying. “I can’t find my sister!” 

Oh, shit. I could have sworn I got everyone. “Hey, buddy, what’s your name?” she asked gently. How did Mom calm me down when I got freaked out?

“Na- Nacheer,” he managed between sobs. 

“Hi, Nacheer, I’m Keeley. Listen, I need you to take slow, deep breaths for me. Can you do that?”

Nacheer nodded, taking shuddering breaths as he tried not to cry. 

“Good, good. I have a friend in there, too. He sent me to get everyone to safety so he could diffuse the bomb. He’s going to come out soon and I know he can help you find your sister, alright? Just hold tight.” On instinct, she picked him up and lightly bounced him on her hip. “Shh, shh, this will all be over soon.” Come on, Doctor. Come on. You have to be okay. 

Then, as if summoned by her thoughts, two dust-covered figures emerged from the cloud of dust and debris kicked up by the explosion. As they got closer, she could see that it was the Doctor with Irikeer. 

“Irikeer!” cried Nacheer. She set him down so he could run to his sister, while she ran over to the Doctor. 

“Took you long enough,” she mock scolded, lightly punching his arm.

He smiled, eyes crinkling. “It was hard work convincing her to leave with me. She was determined to wait for her little brother.”

Keeley laughed, eyes watering with relief. They grabbed each other’s hand and silently made their way back to the TARDIS.   
“So what will happen between the Earthlings and the Sammlung?” she asked. 

“It’s interesting, actually. ‘The Great Blast,’ as this comes to be called, convinces a huge number of people to join the Earthlings. Then a series of actual battles start, ending 3 years from now with the Earthlings defeating the Sammlung.” 

“How do you know that?”

“Oh, the Great Blast is a major historical event! Stories will be told about it for millennia! How the tyrannical Sammlung attacked the sacred Earth Remembrance Festival, but the courageous Earthlings fought back and won,” he said conspiratorially. “Although if I’d known that it was today, I never would have brought you here. I’m so sorry, Keeley.”

She shrugged, still buzzed from the adrenaline rush of helping the festivalgoers. “It’s okay. I want to be a cop anyway- one of the good ones, not like some of the corrupt ones- so this was like, I don’t know, experience of the worst case scenario.”

He smiled at her. “Well, you did a brilliant job, Keeley Washington. You’ll make a great police officer.”

She beamed, not knowing what to say. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “You know, you really were brilliant there. I’d be willing to travel with you for a bit longer, if that sounds good to you.” 

Her eyes widened in shock. “Really? That would be amazing!”

“Yeah?” he asked, grinning.

“Yeah! I would seriously love that.”

“Well then, you’ll be needing this.” He pulled out a key to the TARDIS and handed it to her. 

She took it solemnly and unlocked the door. 

“Wait, where will I sleep? Do you even sleep? Because humans do, especially teenagers.” She looked around the console room, eyeing the jump seats dubiously. 

“The TARDIS is infinite. She creates rooms for everyone who comes on board, which now includes you.” 

“Oh. Rad. But where is it?”

He chuckled. “She’ll show you. Go in any direction; she’ll bring the room to you.”

“Oh. Yeah, wow, that’s...okay. Great. So, um, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” She needed some time alone to process everything that had just happened.

The Doctor nodded, turning to the controls. He also needed some time to process.  
She left the console room and took a left hand turn. The first door she saw was a dark wood with her name written on it in fancy gold calligraphy. She was so dazed that her only reaction was to mutter, “It me” and giggle to herself.

She opened the door slowly, fearing what she would find inside. Instead, she was delighted. 

The walls were painted a deep fern green, and all the furniture was the same dark wood as the door. In one corner, there was a violet beanbag chair the exact color as part of her hair. The nightstand next to her bed had a lamp that gave the room a golden honey-colored glow, making it look warm and inviting. The bed itself was like a hotel bed: lots of thick pillows, plenty of blankets, and a soft but firm mattress. 

I must be in heaven, she thought. That’s the only explanation for this. As she thought this, she could feel the ship sort of hum, pleased that she was happy with it.

“Oh, so you’re a sentient, infinite space ship. Nice.” She had reached her maximum capacity for surprise. “I’ll freak out in the morning,” she decided, and flopped down. She was asleep before her body even hit the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Grunting and panting, she finally reached the nest in the tree and swung herself up. “Unbelievable,” she whispered, still out of breath. “These eggs are enormous! They must have been preserved somehow for centuries.” 

One of the eggs rustled and moved. “They are alive? How can this possibly be?” She moved to caress the egg with awe. “We thought your kind were extinct, little one. We were evidently sorely mistaken. A thought occurred to the scientist. “If you are still alive, then that means-”

Golden scales and steely claws were the last thing she ever saw, unable to look away from its beauty even as she plummeted from the tree to her death.

 

“So, after what happened on Apschaffor- I’m so sorry, by the way- I figured I would take you into the past, where things will probably be a bit more familiar to you. How does-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Um, yeah, I don’t think the past would be a good idea.”

“What? Why not?” he asked with disappointment and surprise. “Nikola Tesla, Marie Curie, Harriet Tubman, all those great people and times?”

“A half-Japanese, half-Irish girl in the past? There’s no way that’s gonna go badly,” she pointed out sarcastically, dipping a finger into the pancake batter he was mixing up. 

“Then, let’s go to sometime more modern,” he suggested, batting her hand away.

“Mmm, nah. I mean it would be kinda cool to go to the Minidoka internment camp to see how my great-grandparents met, but I also don’t want to actually see how they had to live. Obaasan, my grandma, was actually born in that place. Based on the few stories she tells about it, and the musical Allegiance, I really do not want to experience that for myself,” she replied with a shudder.

He nodded slowly as he flipped the pancakes, considering her point. 

“Besides, I bet my hair would freak most people out.” She lifted up her hair to show him. “Purple highlights weren’t exactly common.”

“Oh, you never know. You could start a fashion trend decades early,” he joked. 

She snorted. “Imagine Alexander Hamilton with dyed hair.” 

He handed her the syrup on his way over to the console. “Talk about blowing them all away!”

After covering every square inch of her pancakes with syrup, she spun in her seat to watch him dance around the controls. Damn, he really is Tigger. “So since the past is out, where are we going?”

“I was going to leave that up to you, actually.”

“Oh, I’m deciding?” She quickly swallowed the huge bite she’d just taken. “Okay, um...How about some other fun planet? You know, with equality and hover boards and shit.”

“Oi, language on my TARDIS is strictly clean! And don’t talk with your mouth full,” he said sternly. She almost bought it, but the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth gave him away. 

She swallowed, then gave him a mock salute and irreverent grin. “Aye aye, Cap’n. Equality and hover boards and stuff. Better?” 

“Much. And I have just the place in mind.”

“Really?” Scraping the last pancake crumbs into her mouth, Keeley made her way to the control room. “Where?” she asked, bracing herself on the railing in preparation.

“A planet called Astrion, or Kepler-12b as NASA insists on calling it; honestly, they give the most boring names to some of the most amazing things in creation. Its atmosphere is so hot that most space crafts can’t even pass through it to get to the actual planet; of course, the TARDIS is far superior to any ordinary spacecraft, isn’t that right?” he asked affectionately of the TARDIS, who hummed and brightened the lights in pride.

“But,” he continued, “and this is where it gets even more interesting: Their sky is almost the width of your Earth, which means that life is able to exist below in a perpetual rainforest-type climate.”

“This sounds crazy technical. I’m out.”

“According to their mythology, the great goddess who created the world had dragons to keep watch over her people and protect them,” he offered tantalizingly.

“Space dragons?! I’m back in.”

“Good!” The Doctor threw several switches; the TARDIS groaned her now familiar groan and rocked side-to-side. “Because off we go!”

 

After a typically rough landing, Keeley ran outside to see the planet, hoping to catch a glimpse of the dragons the Doctor said inhabited the planet. The Doctor followed closely behind, just as eager to explore.

They stood still, awed by the pure and wild beauty of the planet. Massive trees soared above them, their leaves dappling the ground with patterns of shadow and light from the dark gold sun. On the ground, brilliantly colored flowers and green plants grew all over, some only as high as Keeley’s ankle and others as reaching as high as the Doctor’s shoulder. The soft calls of birds and animals filled the air in a symphony that would make Mozart feel like a hack.

“Who are you? How have you come here?” a melodic voice asked.

They spun around to find the source of this voice. A person descended from a tree draped with vines and flowers and landed softly a few paces away from them. She had skin the color of dark mahogany, with decorative paint adorning her broad, gently sloping nose. She wore her hair in sleek black dreadlocks, so long that the ends just passed her elbows. Her clothes were a lightweight purple material, making her skin glow from the contrast in colors.

In short, she was the most beautiful person Keeley had ever seen. 

“Us? We’re just...I mean...Wh...I…” Keeley stammered incomprehensibly.

“My name is the Doctor and this is my astonishingly eloquent companion, Keeley Washington,” the Doctor interjected. “And you are?”

“I am Meliera. Are you alright, Kee-lee? Do you need medical attention?” she asked, appearing genuinely concerned. 

Keeley swooned internally. “No, no, I’m fine. It must have just been the traveling in space and landing here, it was kind of a rough landing, but thank you for your concern, you know caring is the sign of a good person and I can tell you’re a good person because you care and-” the Doctor mercifully clamped his hand over her mouth for a second to shut her up. 

Meliera’s concern was replaced by a softening of her eyes and a slight smile creeping over her face as she looked at Keeley. Mentally shaking herself, she turned back to the Doctor. “How did you manage to come here? Our atmosphere incinerates any metal that comes into contact with it. Our most advanced scientists have not been able to create anything that could survive more than seconds inside it.”

“Ah.” Not having enough time to think of a convincing lie, and suspecting she would know if he lied, the Doctor went with the truth. “Well, we didn’t exactly enter the atmosphere per se. My ship moves itself through time and space, so we traveled across a non-physical, temporal-spatial plane rather than this physical one.”

Her eyes lit up. “Traveling outside of the physical realm has long been theorized by some of our most brilliant scientists, but has never been achieved. Truly you must be a great mind to have devised such a method of travel!”

“Oh, I didn’t invent it. I just sort of...borrowed it.”

“I see. So you are a thief,” she said thoughtfully, but with no malice. “What does that make you, Kee-lee?”

“Single,” Keeley blurted out without thinking. As her brain caught up with her words, she cringed. “Wait, fuck. I mean…What I meant was-”

“That you are unattached romantically,” Meliera supplied. “Is this the correct definition of the word?”

“Uh…yeah,” Keeley replied, turning bright red. 

The Doctor smiled as he watched this incredibly awkward display. Jack was so smooth that watching him flirt was annoying. Watching Keeley flirt, the complete opposite, was immensely entertaining.

“Good,” Meliera said with a small smile. “Are you here for the festival?”

“Festival?” the Doctor asked.

She turned back to him, remembering he existed. “The festival celebrating the great goddess Anuli’s creation of this world and everything in it. We give thanks every year with a great festival with songs, dances, and food.” Turning back to Keeley, she said, “You should come with me as my guest.”

Keeley turned to the Doctor. “We have to go!”

“Of course we do! Allons-y!”

“So, tell me about Anuli,” Keeley asked Meliera. “You said she created this planet?”

“Yes,” she said, gesturing for them to follow her. Her voice adopted a lilting, lyrical quality. “Long ago, when this planet was just burned rock, Anuli came and sang everything into life. She sang the ancient songs of creation, breathing life into the dead soil. She danced the ancient dances of creation, causing plants to spring up everywhere she stepped. She sang the songs of life, creating the animals and people. The clouds and sky were so moved by her songs and dances they drew back from the planet so her creations could live, but stayed close enough that they would hear her songs should she ever come back.”

Helping Keeley and the Doctor through a particularly dense patch of jungle, she continued, “After many years of plenty, Anuli saw that Astrion did not need her presence anymore. But so we would not be left without her influence, she left us with the Shionah, the Great Tree which gives us life.” She paused. “This tree, in fact. Keeley, come.”

Keeley approached the tree uncertainly. “Um...okay…”

"Place your hand on the trunk. What do you feel?"

"The bark?" Keeley offered. 

Meliera smiled and took her hands. She was so close Keeley could smell her; a sweet combination of vanilla and damp earth. "Now what do you feel?"

Besides the tingling warmth of Meliera's hands, Keeley felt a gentle pull from every direction; a connection to everything on the planet: the dirt, the plants, the air, the people. She even felt a connection from her feet to the roots of the tree.

"How is this possible?" she asked in awe, not releasing Meliera's hands. "I feel like I'm part of everything. I can feel the tree giving me life and energy and stuff, but like, how? It shouldn't affect me, should it?"

Meliera grinned and looked lovingly at the tree, dropping Keeley's hands, who immediately missed the warmth of both her hand and the connection to Shionah.

"Shionah is the life source for everything on Astrion. She welcomes everything and everyone into her and gives them life." She leaned towards Keeley conspiratorially. "According to the old legends, the ancient race of dragons would raise their young in its branches.”

"But they are merely stories,” Meliera continued. “If they ever existed, they have long since died out. Come! I wish to show you the Lacaesium, where I work and study." 

Keeley lagged behind for just a moment. "Space dragons!”

He grinned down at her. "Isn’t it brilliant?” 

"Are you coming?" Meliera called back to them.

"Yeah, we're right behind you!" Keeley answered back. 

"Are you sure the dragons are the only thing you like about Astrion?" he murmured teasingly.

"What? No! Yes. I mean-" she sighed frustratedly. "Shit. Is it obvious?"

“I’m a centuries-old Time Lord educated in the ways of the universe and hundreds of thousands of cultures,” he sniffed jokingly. “And you are remarkably unsubtle.”

“Fuuuuuuuuck,” she muttered. 

“Language. And for what it’s worth, she seems as interested in you.”

“Really? How do you know?” 

“I tell her that traveling on another plane is possible, which even their best scientists couldn’t make work, and she’d rather show you the connection she feels to the planet and her goddess than ask me questions about it. I’m almost offended.”

“Maybe she just isn’t a nerd like you,” Keeley suggested, straining on her tiptoes to pat him on the shoulder sarcastically. 

“Oi, go flirt with your girlfriend.” He shoved her forward with an encouraging grin. He’d only known her for two days, yet he already felt a brotherly sense of love watching her with Meliera.

“Thank you for telling me about Anuli,” Keeley said shyly, looking at Meliera out of the corner of her eye. “You’re a beautiful storyteller. I mean, you tell stories beautifully! Not that you’re beautiful; I mean you are but I just meant, y’know, that you tell stories well.”

Meliera smiled directly at her. Keeley melted. “That is very kind of you to say. But this story is taught to children practically from birth; anyone of Astrion can recite the story. Only the truly gifted storytellers can create their own stories. My talents lie more with understanding the stories of the natural world.”

“How so?” Keeley asked.

Meliera thought for a moment. “Every living thing, from Shionah to the smallest leaf, has a story to tell. They can tell of what has happened, what is happening, or what will happen. They tell of storms and times of plenty if we will only listen.” She laughed softly, embarrassed. “I am sorry. I am quite passionate about nature and have a tendency to ramble when I begin to speak of it.”

“Don’t apologize!” Keeley said firmly. “It’s beautiful the way you talk about nature.”

Meliera smiled and took her hand. “There is that word again. ‘Beautiful.’”

Keeley blushed and bit her lip, walking in silence for a while. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Why do I only feel this connection with everything when we touch?” Keeley gestured to their clasped hands.

“We all begin to feel this connection in our infancy, and it strengthens as time goes on so that by at least our fifth year, we can feel it. You have not been here long enough to feel the connection on your own. Right now, my connection is mingling with yours, which amplifies it to a strength significant enough for you to feel. Should you stay,” Meliera’s eyes darted to Keeley’s then quickly away, “you would begin to feel your own connection.”

“I see.” She wants me to stay! Keeley inwardly rejoiced. This feeling was over as soon as it came though, as she thought, What about Mom? And Obaasan and Ojiisan and Grandpa Kevin? Plus, Aaliyah and Vidya? Could I really leave them?

For the first time, she began to second-guess her decision to run away.

“What is wrong?” Meliera asked, sensing Keeley’s change in mood.

“I was just thinking about home,” she answered simply. 

“I see. Allow me to show you my home.” Meliera pulled back a curtain of vines. “Welcome to the city of Anuliane.”

Lying down below in the valley was a city constructed entirely of treehouses. Bridges made out of thick vines connected one to the next, travelling up and down and around the trees in an elaborate network. Only two buildings were different: a gleaming glass building on the far side of the town, and a large tree with small glass rooms protruding from it in a spiraling pattern upwards to the top of the tree. 

“That is Queen Aia’s palace,” Meliera said, gesturing to the far building. “And this is the Lacaesium.” She gestured to the tree.

“That’s where you work?” Keeley gawked. “It’s amazing!”

“This tree is where Anuli’s dragons supposedly lived, so they could watch over her people and their own young.”

“Wait,” Keeley interrupted. “I thought they lived back in Shionah.”

“Oh, no. The tree of the Lacaesium is where they made their nests, so they could watch over their young and Anuli’s people simultaneously. Mothers would come here to hatch their eggs. When the younglings could fly, they would return to Shionah. Then, once they matured, they would return here,” Meliera corrected gently. “The direct connection to Astrion’s life source likely helped their hatchlings grow stronger; perhaps it simply made them feel more secure being closer to Astrion’s life source.”

“Why are all those people at the base of the tree?” the Doctor asked curiously.

Meliera frowned and looked at the crowd gathering. “I do not know. People come and go from the Lacaesium frequently, but not in such large crowds and never just at the base.”

“Let’s go check it out,” Keeley suggested eagerly.

“Meliera!” a voice called out. The crowd parted to reveal a tall, gorgeous person wearing a crown made of woven vines and colorful flowers perched atop a pale blond Afro, and a gown of deep green that offset her dark brown skin and hugged her generous frame. She wore paint across her entire face, rather than just across her nose like Meliera.

“Queen Aia!” Meliera bowed low, the tips of her dreadlocks brushing against the hem of the queen's dress. “What is all this, my liege?”

“You studied under Professor Ortheon, did you not?” the queen.

“Yes, majesty,” Meliera responded, confused.

“Come with me,” the queen ordered, taking Meliera’s hand in her own. “You should see this.”

“What of the visitors?” Meliera asked, gesturing to Keeley and the Doctor.

The queen paused. “Wait here, please. This is a sensitive mater.”

“Of course,” the Doctor said, bowing deeply. After a moment (and a poke in the side from the Doctor), Keeley did the same.

“I can tell you’re dying to tell me more about this planet,” Keeley said after they had gone.

“Is it that obvious?” he asked sheepishly.

“No, but you’re a know-it-all, so I took an educated guess.”

“What? Me, a know-it-all? Just because I enjoy teaching others about alien cultures and biology and planets…” He trailed off at the look she gave him. “Point taken. But still, Astrion is fascinating. For one thing, they have no concept of gender. None!”

“Wait, what? But then why do they say ‘queen’ instead of monarch or something? And why don’t they use pronouns like ‘they’ instead of ‘she’?”

“Is that what the TARDIS is translating it to for you? Interesting. I wonder if it’s sensing something in your mind that made it decide female is the default, or if it picked an English pronoun at random. That would make an interesting study. When they come back, use other pronouns and see what they do!”

He cleared his throat at the glazed look she was giving him. “Ahem. Regardless, they just don’t have a concept of gender, race, or economics. It’s a very unique planet in that way.”

“What do you mean by economics? Like money?”

“Precisely! They don’t adhere to a system of capitalism, socialism, or any other –ism simply because they don’t have a system of currency. All jobs that people do here are either for personal enjoyment or because they saw a need and decided to fill it.”

“So everyone just does their own thing?”

“Essentially, yes. My people believed in strict roles, so all our information about this planet took a fairly negative view of this society, but I always thought it seemed quite pleasant.”

“Sounds like a utopia.”

“Oh, well there’s still diseases, crime, greed, and other evils. But it is as close to a utopia as I’ve ever seen.” He was quiet a moment, remembering something terrible, Keeley guessed.

Meliera and Queen Aia returned; Meliera looking visibly shaken. 

“Is everything okay?” Keeley asked, concerned. 

“The professor is dead,” Meliera said. 

“What happened?” the Doctor asked.

“Our doctors are examining him as we speak,” the queen responded. “It appears that she died from the fall, but there are large gashes we cannot explain.”

“May I see the body?” he asked. “I’m a doctor. I may be able to help.”

The queen inclined her head slightly. “Your help would be appreciated. Is the young one your assistant?”

“Oh, no, I’m just along for the ride. And I’d rather not come, if that’s alright. I’ve seen enough dead bodies for my lifetime.”

The queen nodded and turned. The Doctor flashed her a quizzical look, but followed the queen. 

“I also do not wish to see the body again.” Meliera shook her head sadly. “I will mourn her loss for many days to come.”

“Do you want to take your mind off it? I recently suffered a loss and…well, keeping my mind on other things helped. I think. It at least eased the pain a little.”

She smiled sadly. “I think I would like to remind myself there is still beauty in this world. I am going to go for a walk and visit Shionah.”

“Can I join you?” Keeley asked. “Maybe you could tell me more about yourself. Or the professor. Or Astrion in general. Or we could walk in silence. You know, whatever works for you.”

Meliera smiled. “You are very kind. I would enjoy the pleasure of your company.” She set off, Keeley following closely behind.

They walked in silence for a while, Keeley brimming with questions but wanting to give Meliera whatever space she needed.

“You have many questions,” Meliera noted.

“Yeah. Earth is nothing like Astrion,” Keeley admitted. “I didn’t want to bombard you with questions though. You’re going through enough shit.”

“That is kind of you.” Meliera smiled and took her hand. Again, the warm connection to Meliera and Astrion rushed through her like hot cocoa on a cold day.

“Um. So, anyway, uh, are you seeing anyone? Like in a romantic way? Or sexual way? Sex isn’t really my cup of tea, but hey, to each their own. As long as you’re both consenting. But also, are you with anyone like romantically? No real reason, just curious. I’m not with anyone. Oh, I said that already. My bad. Please say something so I can stop talking.”

Meliera laughed. “No, I am not seeing anyone in a romantic or sexual capacity. Why are you curious?”

“What? I’m not curious. Who said I was curious? I’m just making small talk, you know, making conversation with a friend. This isn’t about me. I’m not curious.”

She is obviously lying, Meliera thought. She is also obviously cute. “That is too bad,” she said out loud. “Because if you were asking because you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, I would be eagerly in favor of such a relationship. But if you are merely ‘making conversation with a friend,’ then it is not even worth mentioning.” Meliera grinned at Keeley to let her know she was kidding.

“Oh. K. Cool. Cool beans. That, uh, yup. Yup. Sure. Mmhmm. Ok. Sure. I will…Yeah. Mmhmm.” Keeley nodded like a bobblehead in an earthquake as she scrambled to form a coherent thought.

Meliera shook her head affectionately, then cupped Keeley’s head to still her. “May I kiss you, Keeley Washington?” she asked, her nose mere centimeters from Keeley’s own.

“I’m down,” Keeley replied breathlessly. 

Their lips met in a gentle embrace. Keeley felt like she was floating, and grabbed Meliera’s arms to anchor herself. It being her first kiss, she didn’t know what to do except to stand there and revel in the feeling of Meliera’s soft, plump lifts caressing her own. When Meliera’s thumb gently brushed her cheek, she sighed into the kiss.

If their connection was warm before, now it was like a star exploded inside of Keeley. Everywhere Meliera touched tingled pleasantly. She felt a connection all the way down to the Astrion’s core and spread to everything and everyone on the planet. Even…

“It cannot be!” Meliera breathed, breaking away.

Immediately missing the connection, and still star-struck by her first kiss, Keeley took a moment to respond. “It is. I felt them too.”

“But they are merely myth!”

“Apparently not. They aren’t extinct either.”

“This does explain the large gashes in the professor’s body,” Meliera mused.

Right. The professor, Keeley thought guiltily. 

“She was climbing to the top of the Lacaesium to draw a more accurate map of Astrion. She must have stumbled into a dragon’s nest, and the mother tried to protect her young. The professor meant no harm to anyone, though of course there is no way the dragon could have known this.”

“We should go back. Tell the Doctor and Queen Aia what happened.”

They turned back, still holding hands. They walked in companionable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence.

Meliera stopped just at the base of the Lacaesium. “I would like to ask a question, if I may.”

“Shoot.” Keeley closed her eyes and took a deep breath, composing herself after her poor choice of words. “I mean, go ahead and ask.”

Meliera looked at her with concern, but continued, “You remarked earlier that you had seen ‘enough dead bodies for a lifetime.’ What did you mean by that?”

Keeley took a shaky breath. “My dad died 6 months ago. In front of me. Kinda in my arms, actually. I figured that was enough for my entire life. Or, at least for the fifteen years I’ve been alive.”

Meliera gasped, hands covering her mouth. “Oh, Keeley, I am so sorry! I had no idea!”

“It’s fine. There’s no way you could’ve known,” she assured her. 

“How…how did he die?” Meliera asked hesitantly. “If you do not wish to talk about this, that is of course completely fine.”

“No, no it’s okay. He, uh…there was this, like, neo-Nazi gang and they pulled a gun on this defenseless black kid. My dad intervened, and surprise, white supremacists don’t like other white people stopping them from messing with people of color.”

“I do not understand these words. What is a ‘neo-Nazi?’ What do these colors mean? And what are ‘people of color?’” the alien asked.

“Honestly, explaining race relations in America would take way too long, plus I don’t fully understand everything. Basically, these assholes were threatening this helpless kid for a dumb reason. My dad intervened to save the kid, but the assholes did not like that, so they turned the gun on him. Oh, a gun is this weapon that releases little metal-”

“I know what a gun is,” she interrupted. “We do not use them, but I understand the technology.” She paused. “Is that why you seemed upset when you first said…well, when you said I could ask this question?”

Keeley nodded. “Yeah. I’m used to using it, and I keep forgetting that it triggers memories of that night.”

Meliera pulled her into a tight hug, sadness in her eyes. “I am truly sorry for all that you have been through, Keeley Washington.”

Not even the warmth of their contact could fill the hole in Keeley’s heart, but she clung as tightly as possible, as if she could erase this sadness by squeezing as tightly as possible.

The Doctor cleared his throat. Keeley reluctantly let go of Meliera. “Oh, hey Doc. How…how much did you hear?”

He debated lying, but ultimately went with the truth. “All of it.”

She closed her eyes and sighed. “Of course. Well, at least now you know why a fifteen-year-old girl would travel time and space with a grown-ass man. Sorry, a grown man.”

He cleared his throat. “I actually came to find you two. We determined the professor was killed by-“

“The space dragons,” Keeley interrupted. “Yeah, we figured that out actually.”

“What? How? What?”

“We, uh…well, y’see…” Her face was bright red.

“Keeley and I kissed,” Meliera stated with a slight smile. “The increased physical connection amplified our mutual connections to Astrion. I believe that our physical proximity to Shionah, in addition to this amplified connection, allowed us to sense the dragons’ presences.”

“Stronger connection plus proximity to the life source of the planet, which is connected to every living thing here…” Keeley could practically see him doing equations in his head. “I suppose that would work. Unconventional, but effective!”

“Isn’t that your motto?” Keeley teased.

“It really ought to be. Now then, what are you going to do about the dragons?”

Meliera stared at him incredulously. “Let them be, of course! They are a direct gift from Anuli; we must treat them with the utmost respect and reverence.”

“Quite right, young scientist,” Queen Aia, emerging from the Lacaesium. “In addition to their divine existence, we cannot fault a mother for protecting her young. There is no way she could have known our professor meant her young no harm.”

Meliera practically glowed with pride. “Rightfully so,” the Doctor replied, inclining his head.

“So…now what?” Keeley asked. “I’m assuming going to see the dragons is out of the question, right?”

“That is probably for the best, yes,” the queen replied politely, although her amusement showed.

“We should actually probably be going,” the Doctor said, coming to stand by Keeley. “I’m sure Your Majesty has administrative details to attend to in this matter, explaining this to the public and whatnot.”

“Indeed, much work is to be done. A festival must also be planned in honor of the dragons’ reappearance, in addition to today’s festival. Meliera, as the professor’s apprentice, I would greatly appreciate your help with her funeral.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” She turned to Keeley, hesitated a moment, then kissed her gently on the cheek.

“It was truly an honor to meet you, Keeley Washington. May Anuli watch over and walk with you.”

“And also with you,” Keeley responded on Catholic instinct.

Meliera smiled wistfully, and walked away. Keeley watched her walk away, cheek still tingling from the kiss.

“So…” the Doctor said, snapping her out of her reverie. “You two kissed.”

“Shut up,” she responded, walking back towards the TARDIS. 

“I didn’t say anything! I simply stated a fact.”

“I can hear the smug smile on your face.”

“Me? Smug? Never.”

She scoffed.

“I’m just happy for you and your girlfriend.”

“We’ve only known each other for a day and we kissed once.”

“Well, she kissed you twice,” he pointed out, pulling back the vines in her path.

She blushed and looked at her feet, “Well…that’s true.”

“Oh, hold on a minute…was she your first kiss?”

“What? No. Shut up.”

“She was!”

She pulled back a branch and purposely snapped it in his way. “Shut up.”

“Oh, your first kiss,” he gushed, easily dodging the branch. “And with an alien, oh you progressive little charmer, you!”

“Are you going to be like this all day? Because I can just wait for them to figure out space travel and leave then.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind spending more time with your non-girlfriend though.”

“Oh my god, you’re so extra. It’s not like she’s my first crush, you know.”

He looked at her skeptically. “The way you were carrying on, she isn’t your first crush?”

She mumbled something. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said she’s my second crush. I’m gray-romantic so I don’t feel romantic attraction all that much.”

“So Meliera really is something special,” he mused. 

“That’s it, we’re not friends anymore,” she joked, yanking open the TARDIS door.  
“If I show you a truly spectacular planet, can we be friends again?” 

“Depends on the planet.”

“Brilliant! Metebelis III it is! The most beautiful planet in the world, in my opinion. The whole planet looks blue at night because of these crystals.” He flipped levers and switches on the center consoles.

“How dangerous is it? Everywhere you’re interested seems to be dangerous.”

“Oh, extremely. We won’t go far from the TARDIS, though. Just a quick jaunt. See the sights, braid each other’s hair, make friendship bracelets with the crystals.”

“I know you’re joking, but that sounds really fun.”

“Right then!” He flipped some more switches and grabbed tightly to the railing. “Allons-y!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: racism, death, gun violence, intense descriptions of guilt

“Yes,” a low voice rumbled across the asteroid, making loose rocks dance. “I will end your suffering. Just submit to it. Give in to your guilt.” 

“Just…give…in…” the man mumbled. His thin, near-skeletal frame crumbled, settling in on the asteroid in a patch of light brown dust, just lighter than the asteroid’s natural black dust. Surrounding him were other patches of dust the exact same color.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Tada!” he said grinningly, stepping out of the TARDIS and spreading his arms wide. “Metebelis III as…” Just then, he realized that he was not, in fact, on Metebelis III. “...Promised.”

“This is it?” Keeley raised an eyebrow at the cratered, desolate expanse of nothingness before them.

“No.” He bent down and picked up a handful of dust, running it through his fingers. “This is an asteroid. Somewhere in the Canes Venatici galaxy.” 

“Do you even know how to fly her?” she asked, jerking her thumb at the TARDIS.

“Yes!” he said testily. “Mostly.”

“Why do you put up with him?” she asked, turning to face the TARDIS. “You could just ignore him and go anywhere you wanted. Or go where he intends to go, since you’re telepathic and all, and avoid all these accidental detours.”

I take him where he needs to be. Also, his confusion amuses me, the TARDIS said, although she didn’t say it so much as project the ideas into both of their minds. 

“I like you,” Keeley said, patting the doors approvingly then wandering off across the surface of the asteroid.

“Oi, don’t encourage her!” he protested, following her begrudgingly.

“Okay, so is it a famous asteroid? Wait, let me guess: the 10th grand supreme space person was born here. No, no, it had to have been the place where the first human-alien hybrids launched their amazingly universe-changing political career,” she remarked sarcastically.

“Well, I’m sorry that this planet doesn’t have a Meliera to brighten things up,” he teased.

Keeley blushed and glared at him. “Low fucking blow, Doc.” 

“Language, my love-struck young friend.”

“You’re really serious about this language thing, aren’t you?”

“With Time Lords, swearing is something only really done in times of danger. Every time I hear someone swear, I keep thinking we’re in danger.”

“Oh, my bad. Aren’t you like always in danger though?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say always. Occasionally, of course. Maybe often. But that’s beside the point.”

“Wait, Doctor.” Keeley pointed at the ground. “How come the ground is two different colors?”

“What do you mean?”

She bent down and picked up two handfuls of dust. “See this one’s a dark brown,” she said letting it blow away. “But this one’s lighter.”

“Hmm…” He picked up a handful of each kinds of dust and let them fall through his fingers.

“Ew, Doc, don’t eat it!” she cried when he tasted some of each. “Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to eat strange space dust?”

“I tend not to listen to people when they tell me not to do things. If I did, I never would have stolen this TARDIS and traveled all of Creation. I never would have seen other worlds, never would have met some of the strongest people in the universe.” His face darkened. “Never would have killed thousands. Never would have lost Rose. Wouldn’t be the last of my people left.”

“If I hadn’t listened to people, maybe my dad would still be alive.” She fell to her knees, seeing the day her father died in horrifically vivid detail, reliving what she saw every time she closed her eyes. The Doctor collapsed a few feet away from her, but she was so overcome with the scene before her that she didn’t see.

 

A group of white gang members were confronting a young black child. He couldn’t have been more than 10.

Charlie, her father, got out of the car and locked it. “Stay here, Keeley. I’ll be right back.” 

Keeley pressed her face up against the window of the car, watching anxiously as he confronted the gang members. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but she saw him shove the men away from the boy.

The boy ran off as soon as the men were distracted. The one closest to Charlie pulled a gun out from his waistband and shot him 3 times in the stomach.

“Their kind don’t belong here.” Hatred twisted the man's features as he spat on Charlie's face. Her father fell to his knees, clutching his stomach. “Neither do nigger-lovers like you.” 

They ran off, leaving him lying face-down in the alley surrounded in a dark red pool. 

As soon as they were gone, Keeley unlocked the door and ran to him. “Dad!” With some effort, she managed to roll him onto his back, hoping to see his face and know he was okay. His ashen face and unfocused eyes told her that he was not.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket with shaking hands, trying to dial 911. Her hands shook so much that she dropped it twice. His blood was dripping from the screen and the case as she dialed; some of it got on her cheek and ear as she made the call.

“Hello?” she said to the 911 operator, voice breaking. “My dad just got shot, he needs help right now!” 

“Where are you? We’ll have an ambulance at your location soon,” the operator replied calmly. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Somewhere off Woodrow, I think? We’re in a side alley. Please hurry!” 

“We’ll have an ambulance there within 10 minutes,” the operator replied, and then hung up. 

“Shit, Dad, hold on! Please don’t go, I need you!” 

“Keeley,” he murmured, reaching his hand up to hers. 

“Shh, shh, don’t try to talk,” she shushed him. “Hail Mary, mother of saints or whatever, please don’t let him die. Fuck, who are the other saints?! Uh, St. Andrew, Bartholomew, um… Beatrice, Anne, Valentine, God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, umm… Hell, Grandma Keeley, if you can do anything. I don’t even care who, just somebody up there, help me! Please!” she prayed desperately.

“They can’t help me...now,” he murmured. 

She smiled a watery, broken smile. “That’s sacrilege, I think,” she whispered. “What would Grandma Keeley say?”

He smiled, his rust colored beard parting to show his teeth. “She’ll have my ass when I get up there.”

“Hold on for me, okay? If you wait another couple decades, maybe she’ll forget,” she said, trying to joke while choking back tears. 

He laughed softly, then winced at the pain. “She never…forgot. Yelled at me on…wedding for swallowing…Claddagh ring. I was three. Better to...face music.” 

“No, Dad, please! Just a few more minutes, then the ambulance will be here, okay?” she cried desperately, clinging onto his hand as if to give him some of her strength.

“Tell...Mom...I love…” he exhaled softly and didn’t move again. 

“Dad?” Keeley said. “Dad, no! Please come back, I need you! Dad!” 

10 minutes later, EMTs arrived and pulled her away from his body kicking and screaming, while others attempted to revive him unsuccessfully.

 

“I let him die,” she murmured numbly after the vision ended.

A vision of Midori Washington, her mother, appeared. “Yes, you did,” she said coldly.

“You have every right to hate me, Mom. I’m so, so sorry.”

Grandpa Kevin, her paternal grandfather, appeared next to her mother. “Because of you, I lost my son. My only child.”

“You’ve lost so much. First Grandma Keeley, then me. I’m sorry, Grandpa Kevin.”

“You don’t deserve to speak her name, much less share it,” he said furiously.

Obaasan and Ojiisan stood by their daughter, glared down at Keeley. “It should have been you."

“I know.” Tears rolled silently down her face.

“Yes,” rumbled a disembodied voice. “You are awful. You are nothing.”

“I am nothing,” she repeated hollowly, staring at the ground. She picked up handfuls of dust and let it run through her fingers. “Less than dust.”

“Keeley,” a familiar voice said gently. “Keeley, look at me.”

She raised her head slowly. “Dad?”

Charlie Washington nodded. 

“Dad, I am so sorry! I should have acted sooner. I should have done something. I should have…It should have been me.”

“Yes, it should have.”

She stared at him in shock. “Wh-what?”

“It should have been you. You’re worthless. You’ll never amount to anything. But I had my whole life ahead of me. I had a wife, a father, parents-in-law. Midori and I could have had another child. Maybe that one wouldn’t have been such a disappointment.”

Keeley sat there in shock for a moment, then muttered, “This isn’t real.”

“What do you mean?” the vision of Charlie asked. “Of course this is real.”

She shook her head. “No. No, it’s not. You…my dad was a kindergarten teacher. He knew how important it was to build people up, to help them believe in themselves.” She shakily stood to her feet.

“That’s just how worthless you are,” he countered. “Even I don’t have anything good to say about you.”

“You’re wrong. He believed there was goodness in everybody. Even if he had a problem with somebody, he still had something positive to say about them, like, ‘I’m sure he just hasn’t thought through these ideologies and who they hurt.’

She was getting angry now. “If he believes that strongly in the goodness of people, that he won’t write off a complete asshole, why the hell would he not believe in his own daughter? 

“I- well-” the vision stammered.

“So you know what I think? I think that you’re some kind of monster, maybe psychic or something, that senses the guilt of your prey, shows it to them so they get complacent and too distraught to move, and that’s when you feed. But you fucked up here, because even on my worst day, which is like a thirty-way tie at this point, I never for a second thought that he would think I’m as much of a screw-up as I do.”

She looked over to the Doctor for confirmation, but gasped when she saw him surrounded by his own visions.

“Who are all these people?” she whispered, coming to stand behind him. When he didn’t respond, she shook his shoulders and asked louder. “Who are these people?”

“They’re people who I’ve let die. Or caused to die. Or abandoned.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from a blond woman in the center.

“Why didn’t you save me, Doctor?” she asked, looking hurt and betrayed. “After all we’ve been through together? I looked into the Heart of the TARDIS to save you. I was almost burned alive by the Time Vortex. I crossed universes to find you, but you couldn’t cross the room to grab my hand? You cared more about keeping yourself safe than me. You never cared about me at all, did you?”

“Rose…”

Rose…This is R!, Keeley realized.

“Doctor. Hey, Doc, look at me.” She crouched in front of him so they were at eye level. “Doctor, this isn’t real. These people, they aren’t really here.”

“Yes they are. And they’re right. Everything they said, they’re right.”

“I didn’t hear what they said before her. But I saw people too. And everything they said was so like them, things I’ve pictured them saying or thinking every day for the past month since my dad died. But it messed up, this monster messing with our heads, because it showed me my dad saying something he never would.”

“I…”

“Doctor, I don’t know much about Rose. Or anything, really, since you can’t even say her name. But I know you loved her. You loved her with everything you had, so I know that she knew you cared about her. Nobody who’s been on the receiving end of that kind of love would doubt for a second that the other person cares about them.”

“I never told her I loved her,” he choked.

“And that sucks, dude. But this vision thing isn’t her. If it was the real Rose, she wouldn’t be saying you never cared about her at all.”

“I…I suppose. But I still didn’t save her. Or any of these other people. I’m just as much of a monster as anyone I’ve ever fought.”

"Hey, look at me," she said firmly but gently, shaking his shoulders lightly until he looked her in the eyes. "The fact that you couldn’t save everyone does not mean you're a bad person. It's because life is dangerous and no one can be perfect or save everyone. But you save as many as you can and you do the best you can, and that's what matters in the end." 

He nodded. "My...best." 

She nodded encouragingly. "That's it. Say it again." 

"I do my best," he repeated stronger. “I do the best I can, and my friends bring out the best in me. If I only believe in one thing, I believe in…my friends. So if they believe in me, then so do I.” 

She grabbed his hand. "Good. Now let's go." 

"Yes, the sooner we're gone, the better," he agreed vehemently. 

They sprinted back to the TARDIS.

“You would turn your back on your wrongs?” the disembodied voice boomed. 

Keeley turned around, putting her weight on one leg and crossing her arms. This thing hurt her and her friend; she was just a bit pissed off. 

“Listen, both of us did the best we could in these circumstances, okay? And sure, maybe we could’ve done better, or done more. We’re not perfect, but we do our best. But you, you son of a bitch, you feed on our pain and our grief! How fucking dare you? You try to manipulate us over events in our past just so you can have a snack. So fuck you.” She stuck up both her middle fingers, filled with righteous anger and 15-year-old bravado, then turned around and stalked back to the TARDIS. 

Once inside, her bravado melted away and she began to tremble so hard she had to sit down on the jump seats. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, watching her intently. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said reflexively. She didn't even think about the lie until after it rolled off her tongue. "What about you? How are you doing?" 

"I'm alright," he said just as instinctively. 

Both knew that the other was lying, but neither wanted to call them on it. They would both feel better in the long run, but after such an intense experience, they just felt like shit. And not like intense-workout shit, either, it was want-to-curl-up-in-a-ball-and-scream-for-ten-years-but-also-sleep-and-not-be-conscious-for-a-while type shit. 

Keeley hesitated then asked, "That thing kept saying you couldn’t save Rose. What happened to her?" she asked gently, moving slowly towards him. 

"She's trapped in a parallel world. I've lost her there twice. The first time was an accident, caused by those idiots at Torchwood who couldn't leave well enough alone. But the second time was much, much worse. I had to leave her there with a clone of myself and watched as they-" The Doctor inhaled deeply, eyes watering. 

"I'm so sorry. And I know from experience that that doesn't do anything and it's one of the most useless things to say, but I really, really am." Keeley wrapped her arms around his middle, trying to give him some kind of comfort to alleviate his heartbreak, like if she could hold him tight enough it would put his heart back together somehow. 

"The first time I had a tiny hope. Hope that somehow she would do the impossible one more time and find her way back to this universe. Back to me." Now that he had started opening up, he didn't seem able to stop, despite the tears streaming from his eyes and blurring everything. 

"I tried not to let myself hope, but I couldn't help it. And she did. My brilliant Rose crossed dimensions and timelines and made her way back." He smiled a little, then swallowed the lump that rose up in his throat. "But then the clone was created, and he was just like me before Rose was in my life, eager to fight and willing to kill, and I knew that I had to leave him with her so she could make him better, like she made me better. Then, at least she could have her happy ending.”

“But it hurt, more than any pain I've ever felt, to see her there, kissing someone who's me but not me, and having to walk away without telling her that I loved her. Because if I had said it, she would've asked me to stay. And I would've said yes because I could never refuse her anything. Donna's memory needed to be wiped and the clone didn't have the ability to do that, since he was half-human.” His tears were flowing freely now and he did nothing to stop them. 

“I had to leave the woman I love to erase my best friend's memory of me and everything we'd done, that's my reward," he remarked bitterly, his voice thick from years’ worth of un-cried tears. 

His sobs increased, forcing him to stop talking other than the occasional strangled whisper of "Rose!" 

Keeley's own eyes were watering at all the grief her friend had been through, but she continued to hold him tightly. 

He does so much good and has to deal with so much shit, she thought, feeling her heart break for him. Life fucking sucks. 

They stayed like that, holding on desperately to each other, for what felt simultaneously like hours and seconds. Then he took a deep breath and roughly wiped the tears from his eyes. “Now then,” he said cheerily with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll walk you to your room.” 

She nodded mutely and they made their way to her room, keeping their hands interlaced as they walked to convince themselves, and each other, that they weren’t alone.

He gave her a long hug at her door. “Goodnight, Keeley.” He smiled another smile that didn’t reach his eyes and turned around. 

“Wait,” she called after him hesitantly. “Will you...will you stay with me?” She turned red, knowing how childlike she sounded. “It’s just...I have nightmares about my dad pretty often, basically every night, and this definitely wouldn’t…so I just thought...or hoped...I mean after this, I…” she blushed an even darker shade of red and looked down at her feet. “Never mind, it- it was stupid anyway. Night, Doctor.” 

“No, no it’s not stupid at all.” He cleared his throat a few times to keep his voice from breaking with emotion. “Having-having a trusted friend in the room is-is very helpful in preventing nightmares. Especially after-” he motioned vaguely. He followed her into her room and lay down next to her on the bed. 

“Is this alright?” he asked her. Honestly, the closer he was to another person, the better he would feel. 

She nodded, snuggling into his side. “Yeah, this is good.” 

As she drifted off to sleep, the last thing she heard was the Doctor singing a Gallifreyan lullaby. She couldn’t understand the words, but they made her feel calm and safe. Despite the intensity of what had just happened, both of them slept better that night than they had in a long, long time. 

The TARDIS scanned the asteroid before dematerializing into the Time Vortex. She set a marker onto it to warn other travelers of the danger that lay there, flagging it in the hopes of sparing others the experience her thief and her Keeley had been through. 

If I had only known, she thought regretfully. 

Never again shall you feed, she vowed fiercely at the asteroid’s sole inhabitant. Never again.


	5. Chapter 5

“Top of the morning, Miss Washington!” the Doctor greeted Keeley cheerfully. 

We’re not acknowledging yesterday’s shit, okay, good, she thought. “So where are we going today?” she asked out loud. 

“About that… the TARDIS refuses to take us anywhere. I had planned for us to actually visit Metebelis III this time, but she’s blocking the coordinates from setting. I even tried setting the coordinates to random, but still nothing.”

“So we’re stuck in here?” she summarized.

“Yeah,” he answered, somewhat sheepish. “Sorry.”

“Hmm…Do you have any board games?” He looked at her incredulously. “What? Infinite time-and-space ship, you’ve gotta have games somewhere.”

“Er…it’s, ah, never come up.” 

She crossed her arms in thought. “Okay then…how about we play Truth or Dare?”

“Truth or Dare? Isn’t that a little childish?”

She huffed, hands on her hips. “I’m fifteen. Truth or Dare is like, the international sleepover pastime for fifteen-year-olds. And I’ve been here for days now, frankly it’s a crime that we haven’t played already.”

She saw he was unconvinced. “Come on, it’ll be fun! You get to ask nosy questions or make me do stupid stuff! Win-win situation here.”

A grin slowly spread across his face. “Well…I suppose it could be fun.”

“That’s the spirit!” she cheered. “I’ll get snacks and meet you in the library. We’re doing this thing right.”

 

“So, truth or dare?”

“Mm… Truth.”

Keeley thought for a moment. “How old are you?”

“I’m 900 and…five? 906?”

“You don’t know how old you are?”

“Oi, you try remembering your age when you bounce around all of time!” He crossed his arms defensively. 

“Well, you look good for your age, Grandpa,” she teased. “Your turn.”

“I had a granddaughter once,” he commented nonchalantly. “Her name was Susan. She was about your age.”

“Really? Where is she?”

The Doctor reached for a handful of popcorn from the bowl between them. “She’s lost. I assume she’s dead.”

“You don’t even know if she’s dead? Why haven’t you looked for her?”

He stared at a piece of popcorn, twisting his hand to see every angle of it. “I left her behind for a reason. She needed to get on with her own life instead of feeling obligated to tag along with me. If she is still alive, she’s better off without me.”

She reached for the popcorn. “I kinda feel like that’s not really your call,” she commented as she chewed. “I mean, it’s a sweet sentiment, I guess, but it’s her life. Whether or not you agree with her decisions doesn’t really matter. All you can do about it is to just tell her your side or your feelings or whatever and then let her make up her mind.” She swallowed her food. “Sorry to lecture at you. Long spiels are kind of my thing; ask my friends.”

He laughed, but it was more like a sad puff of air. “Yeah.”

She bit her lip. “Anyway, it’s your turn now.” Please don’t be mad at me, she willed. I mean, I stand by what I said, but please don’t be mad.

“Oh, right. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” I just lectured you even though you’re like a million times my age; you have the right to hear an embarrassing story.

“Hmm…I’ve got it!” A mischievous glint came into his eyes accompanied by a knowing smile. 

“Okay, I’m glad you’re not mad and all, but that look is making me seriously worried.”

“You were mooning over Meliera,” he said her name in a teasing sing-song, “but you’d said that she was only your second crush… So who was your first?”

She groaned. “I was 5.” He nodded eagerly for her to go on; she huffed. “Fine. So I was like 5, and my kindergarten class took a field trip to the fire station. There was this really nice lady firefighter, and she let me be the first one to turn on the siren. And, you know, she did the obligatory ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ So little me puffed up my chest and all proudly was like ‘I wanna be a cop!’ And then she was all, ‘Oh, that’s great! I’d feel a lot safer with you on the streets!’” 

The Doctor laughed appreciatively. 

“Hey, shut up!” Keeley threw a piece of popcorn at him, laughing herself. “Now I get that she was just being nice, but little me thought it was practically a declaration of love! Anyway, so when my parents picked me up, I naturally told them all about her. They still tease me every time a fire engine drives by. ‘Look, Keeley, it’s the love of your life! Do you want to stop them so you can propose?’” 

She caught herself, her smile fading. “Or, well…just Mom now.” After a long pause, she said, “She did it more than my dad anyway, so it’s not like it’s super different. She and I joked the most anyway; we both have pretty similar senses of humor.” She had the tone of someone who is trying to cover up how awfully shitty they feel with a glib comment, and it broke his heart. 

“But enough about my youthful misadventures! Your turn! Truth or dare?” 

“Dare,” he replied. She could read his pity in his face, and wanted it gone. 

“Alright, um…I dare you to eat a banana in only two bites!”

“Ha! Easy!” He danced over to the kitchen area and grabbed a banana. “Miss Washington, would you do me the honor of peeling the banana?” He made a big show of bowing deeply to her and placing it in her hands. 

She giggled. “Absolutely, dearest Doctor.” She peeled it and handed it back to him. 

“Much obliged!” He took a massive bite of the banana, then took another one without even chewing the first. 

“Tada!” Except it was muffled with all the banana, so it sounded more like “Ah-ah!” And it sprayed all over her face.

Keeley dissolved into laughter. She was laughing so hard she couldn’t even speak; she just pointed at him and fell over, clutching her sides.

He stumbled with the force of his own laughter. “Are…you…okay?” he managed to get out between laughs.  
She still couldn’t speak, so she just nodded while still literally rolling on the floor laughing. 

The Doctor pulled out a handkerchief from inside his jacket. “Here,” he said with a grin. “I got banana all over your face, sorry.”

Keeley took it gratefully and wiped her face. “Thanks,” she wheezed, out of breath from laughing. “I think I’m good now.” She tried to hand it back to him but he waved her off. 

“Your turn! Truth or dare?” 

“Look who’s getting into it now, Mr. Isn’t-that-childish?” she teased. “Oh, I should’ve asked. Is it Mister, or different pronouns?”

“Mister, I suppose. Although it is odd being addressed as anything other than Doctor; I’ve gotten so used to it.” 

Ooh, I’ve got a great truth question for him then, she thought.

“I’m going with dare, though I get the feeling that I’ll regret it,” she continued.

He rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Let’s see… Oh, I’ve got it! I dare you to perform the song of your choice a cappella!”

“This punishes you more than me,” she remarked self-deprecatingly. “My mom describes me as ‘an enthusiastically bad singer and dancer.’ I’m assuming you want the song to be clean?”

“I’m stuck in my ways, what can I say?”

“Fine then. Give me a second to think of a song though.” After a minute of thought, she cleared her throat and jumped up from her seat on the couch. True to her promise, Keeley’s performance was awful. Imagine the dancing and singing skills of an average five-year-old, then multiply it by about 20. She had the Doctor in stitches, especially since she was clearly having a blast. She was including props, pointing at him during especially intense parts of the song, trying to sing both lead and backup at the same time, and making up her own words when she forgot the lyrics (which was often). 

She bowed when she finished, and he applauded vigorously. “Thank you, thank you, you’ve been a great crowd!” She blew kisses to an imaginary audience behind him. 

“I can’t imagine why your mother would say you were a bad singer and dancer,” he teased, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“I know! Clearly she’s jealous of my gift; she’s just trying to hold me back.” She flopped back down onto the couch. 

“Now it’s my turn to ask. Truth or dare?” Please pick truth, please pick truth, I have the best question, she thought.

“Mmm… Truth.” 

“Yes! Okay, your question is…” Keeley paused for dramatic effect, eyebrows raised. “What is your name?”

“No.”

“Your name is No?”

“No, that’s not a question I can answer.”

“What? You have to answer; that’s how Truth or Dare works!” 

“If that question is ever answered, it will trigger a chain reaction of events that will lead to the end of the universe,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“…You’re not kidding.”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Oh. Has anyone ever told you you’re insanely dramatic?”

“What?” He seemed genuinely incredulous.

“Your name alone triggers the end of everything, you call yourself the Doctor instead of, like, Steve, or something normal, and you zip around space and time saving the day. Dude,” Keeley raised her eyebrows pointedly. “You’re the biggest diva in the entire universe.”

He opened his mouth to protest, then stopped, realizing she was right, and threw a handful of popcorn at her. “I believe it’s my turn now.”

She plucked the kernels off of her shirt and popped them in her mouth. “I pick truth. And because I’m not a total drama queen like you, there isn’t any question that’s off limits for me.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Alright, you mentioned you want to be a cop. Why?”

“Oh, the deep questions now, okay. Well, it started out as kind of an ‘I want to help and protect people’ situation, which is still true. But after, you know, living in America and all, it’s more that I want to make a difference in the currently fucked up system. Pardon my French.” She took a deep breath. “Plus after my dad…I want to make places safer. Get rid of gangs especially.”

“You’ve seen the bad and you want to do something to fix it. To help people,” he said. “Like me.”

She smiled a little at that. “Yeah, exactly.”

After a minute, she asked, “Hey, Doc? Have you ever tried to prevent a big tragedy in history?”

He closed his eyes as if in pain. “Yes. Right before we met, actually.”

Keeley said nothing, letting him tell her at his own pace.

“I went to Mars; didn’t realize I was there at the same time as the first off-world colonizers. Well, really it was a combination research/colonization/pilot program to see if human life could be sustained on Mars. 2059, it was. It ended with the entire crew dying on the base in one day, or it was supposed to.” He took a shuddering breath, as if unsure whether to cry or scream. “I intervened. I thought I was above the laws of time itself; that I could save them all. Instead, I only managed to save 2 of the crew members. I got Adelaide Brooke, the captain, off-planet safely too, but she. Oh, she was smarter than me, wiser than me. She realized their deaths would affect other timelines, so she took her life to keep time somewhat on track.” He shook his head. “A human with a better grasp of the importance of preserving timelines than a Time Lord. All because I didn’t want to die.”

“I thought you were immortal? That your people regenerated and stuff?” she asked. “I mean, obviously that’s not the most important part of the story, but-”

“It’s complicated,” he interrupted. “My memories live on with each regeneration, yes, but I turn into a new man, or person rather, sometimes gender changes, with each regeneration. Like updating software; it’s simultaneously the same and different.”

“It feels like dying,” she summarized.

“Exactly.”

“So you feel like you let all those people die, especially that captain, but also like you ruined the future?” she asked. “Damn, and I thought my guilt was bad.”

“Your guilt?” he asked.

“Yeah. So uh, you know how my dad died. Gang violence, he intervened, and, well. But, um. When he saw what was going down, he pulled over out of sight and told me to stay in the car, which I did. Locked the door and everything. And when I heard the gunshots, I froze. I didn’t know what was happening since I couldn’t see, and I was scared if I got out that I would get shot too. Especially being Japanese, and mixed to boot, I figured that wouldn’t go well for me. I didn’t move until I saw all the gang members run off. I didn’t even call 911 or anything until later. Maybe if I had, he wouldn’t have…When I did run over to him, and call an ambulance, he’d lost a ton of blood.” 

Her hands started to shake as she relived the worst moment of her life. “So much blood. It was just pouring out from him. His shirt was soaked. It was pooling around him too, like in movies but so much worse. It got all over my hands and shoes and pants and even my shirt when I held him. The medics had to pull me off of him.” 

Tears were falling hot and fast, and her voice was thick with grief. “I can still feel all his blood on me and I don’t think I’ll ever feel clean. That’s what I deserve though. I let him die.” 

“If I had gotten out quicker, or called right away, he’d still be here. But he’s not. All because of me.”

The Doctor pulled her into his lap, rocking her gently as she sobbed. Tears of his own began to fall, for his weight and hers.

After what seemed like an eternity, Keeley was all cried out. “So much for a fun day, huh?”

He laughed bitterly. “Maybe we should’ve played something tamer, like Monopoly.”

“No chance of negative feelings with that game,” she joked.

He picked her up. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Too weak to protest, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him carry her to her room.

As he pulled the covers over her, she grabbed his wrist. “Would you stay? Again? I just…don’t want to be alone.”

“Scoot over,” he said softly, lifting up the blankets to get under them. She moved over readily, glad he didn’t ask questions.  
He lay on his side and hugged her to his chest. “You are never alone,” he murmured.

He began to softly sing a Gallifreyan lullaby, different from before. She still didn’t understand any of the words, but it reminded her of home and family.

“Doc?” she mumbled sleepily. “I want to go home.”

He pressed a brotherly kiss to her temple. “Sleep now.”

She snuggled into his side, asleep within seconds. He sighed. “I want to go home, too."


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Keeley woke up to the Doctor still in her room. He had moved to a chair in the corner, and he sat staring at his hands.

“Doctor?” she asked tentatively.

“You still want to go home.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he echoed.

“I need to go home, Doctor. Everything that happened yesterday just made me realize that I can’t solve my issues by running away from them. I need to confront them head-on, which is exactly what my therapist back home said.” She breathed a soft, bitter laugh. “Funny how things always sound less convincing when they aren’t figments of your imagination created by an evil asteroid that wants to eat you.”

He looked at her and half-smiled sadly. “So the old saying goes.”

“Are you gonna be okay?” she asked.

“I’m always okay,” he responded.

“No, you’re not.” He got to his feet.

“No,” he agreed.

“I get that you’re like a billion years older than me-”

“900 at most,” he interrupted.

“But even I know that to work through guilt, you have to acknowledge it and accept that whatever happened, happened. Granted, this didn’t sink in until about 24 hours ago, but it’s still true.”

“How?”

She shrugged and stood up. “Journal? Use that psychic paper to get in to see a therapist? Find a space therapist that won’t be surprised when you say you’re an alien?”

_I will help you_ , a telepathic voice hummed in both their heads.

“See? And you can call or text me anytime. Anytime you’re on Earth at least, since I don’t think space has good reception.”

“Oh, hold on.”

He scanned her phone with his sonic screwdriver and said, “There. Now you can get texts and calls from space.”

“What? You held out on me!” She hugged him tightly, then pulled away. “Anytime. I mean it,” she said seriously.

“I will,” he responded affectionately, hugging her again. “Right then! Let’s get you home!” he exclaimed and headed towards the control room.

She trotted after him, calling, “Also, I kinda need a pad or a tampon. Like right now. Does your infinite time-and-spaceship have any?”

\---------------------

Twenty years later, on the day of her wedding, Keeley came out of a side door by the altar at the front of a church, self-consciously straightening her black velvet tuxedo jacket. “Could I have everyone’s attention, please?” she called out to those sitting in the pews. They slowly turned toward her.

“There’s going to be a small delay. Olivia’s dress was slightly ruined thanks to our adorable ring bearer.” She shook her head ruefully. “Peanut butter and wedding dresses don’t mix well, who knew?” The audience chuckled slightly.

A tall man walked into the church and leaned against the back wall, catching her attention. At first glance, she assumed he must just be a great-uncle she didn’t remember. Maybe a plus-one of a guest; Olivia’s second cousin Isabel did have a thing for older guys.

Then she saw his eyes: blue instead of brown, and a lot older than before, but they still had an air of sadness and authority that was unmistakable.

_It’s him_ , she realized.

“Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for coming today,” she said, not breaking eye contact with him. “I know some of you came a long way to be here. Olivia and I are so happy together, and it means a lot to us that you came to celebrate with us. We wish you nothing but happiness and love for the rest of your lives.”

He smiled sadly and walked out the door.

She broke eye contact with him for just a moment to address those sitting. “I’d better go see about Olivia, but thank you for waiting.”

She power-walked down the aisle towards him, refusing to let him get away. _I will chase you in these heels if I have to, goddammit, don’t test me._

He was waiting just outside the door when she caught up to him. “It’s been twenty years, Doctor. Did you think you were leaving without a hug?” she accused before hugging him tightly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured against the top of her head, holding her just as tight.

“So, you’ve regenerated?” she asked when they finally broke apart.

“Yes. Twice, since we last saw each other.”

“You’re old. And Scottish.”

“I appear to be, don’t I?”

“Do you have anyone traveling with you?”

“Oh, I’m not doing much traveling at the moment. I’m a bit Earth-bound for a while.”

“You, not traveling? Did something happen?”

“Not to me, no.”

“Good to see you’re still cryptic. I can’t imagine you being satisfied not traveling, though.”

“I’ve been doing some teaching. Passes the time. There’s a very interesting lunch lady who sneaks into my lectures all the time. Whenever she doesn’t understand something in the lecture, she smiles. Like she’s excited to learn something new.”

“Going places she’s not supposed to be, eager to learn…She sounds like she’d enjoy traveling with you.”

“I really shouldn’t.”

But she could see a gleam in his eye at the prospect of traveling with someone interesting. “Anyway, you came to see my wedding! Especially for not traveling, that means a lot.”

“It’s only through time. I figured that didn’t count. I also came to give you this in person.”

He handed her a small present wrapped in faintly shimmery white paper. “You should probably open it now.”

She gingerly unwrapped it, careful not to damage the paper. Inside was a thumb drive, the same color as the TARDIS and decorated with small gears.

“Oh…” She tried to conceal her disappointment. “A…thumb drive. This is…What a cool color. Thanks.”

“It’s made from parts I had lying around the TARDIS. My gift is what’s on it.”

“What’s on it?” she asked curiously.

“There are four videos. The first is me singing the Gallifreyan lullabies I sang during our travels. The other three are from your father saying how much he loves you and your mother and how proud he is of you both.”

Keeley clapped a hand over her mouth and stared at the drive.

“I can’t cross your time streams to bring him here, so I figured this was the next best thing,” he explained gently.

She buried her face in his chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.

They stayed like that for a long moment until Keeley’s mother came out of the chapel. “Keeley? Is something…Oh.”

“Hey, Mom.” Keeley turned around and wiped away her tears. “He gave me this as a wedding present.”

“A flash drive?” she asked skeptically. “For your wedding?”

Keeley laughed. “Long story. But, Doctor-”

“I’ll see you at the reception,” he interrupted. “Be with your mother right now. Lovely to meet you, Midori.” He turned around and walked back into the church.

“Who was that?” Midori asked. “Is he with Isabel?”

Keeley laughed. “No, and we should probably keep them far apart for her sake. He’s just…an old friend.”

“Okay, then come on,” Midori said as they turned around. “We finally got those stains out of Olivia’s dress. And you can barely tell they were there in the first place, so I doubt she’ll lose her deposit on the dress.”

“Honestly, it almost would’ve been a funnier story if you hadn’t been able to.”

“Don’t you even joke about that, Keeley Anne Washington!” Olivia ordered as she came out of the changing room.

Keeley stopped dead in her tracks. “You look gorgeous,” was all she could get out.

Olivia blushed and spun around, showing off the full satin skirt and pearl-laden bodice. “Really?”

“Really. Even without the peanut butter stains.”

Olivia smacked her arm with the wedding program, but her giggling ruined her mad appearance. “Fuck you.”

Midori rolled her eyes fondly as she took both of their arms to walk them down the aisle.

“Are you ready to become the Hernandez-Washingtons, Livvy my love?” Keeley asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“So ready,” she responded as the doors opened on their new life.


End file.
